Date: December 18, 2018
My first semester of art school ends tomorrow. It's weird to think that it was just four months ago I started this blog, thinking everything was going to be amazing and that I was going to kick art school's ass. Looking back, I feel like I've aged a hundred years since then.
I finished my self-portrait two nights ago. Tomorrow I get to take it to class and get Rudy's feedback. I'm kind of nervous to see what he's going to say. Drawing a self-portrait was definitely a lot more... private, than I thought it was gonna be. I kept looking at myself in photographs, and in the mirror, and it made me wonder how other people see me. Whether it's how I want them to see me or not. And realizing I had the power to draw myself differently from how I might actually come off was kind of a trip.
But in the end, I feel good about what I've got. Maybe Rudy will like it, or maybe he'll think I wasn't daring enough, or whatever. Maybe Carver will come in with a self-portrait too, and there'll be blood coming from his eyeballs or something and Rudy will start weeping over the narrative.
What I mean is, maybe Rudy will like it, or maybe he won't, but I like it either way. And I had fun making it. And I think the point is, for right now, that's all that matters.
J.